Shopping with Husbands in tow.

I got this from a sent email. The sender friend of mine is either bored at work or just trying to lighten up the mid-week blahs.

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion

in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both

of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and

are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the

women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,

'Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of

M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted

area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from

the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying

and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a

mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked

the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming

the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ' Madonna

look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'